The Mistaken Identity

If you have ever been a victim to statements like these: 'You are a true cosmocrat.', 'Seriously, that's some international mindedness within you.', 'Where all have you lived?', 'Are you an Anglo-Indian?', then the truth is that no one can say anything as replies to those statements. But I can understand what it feels like and totally sympathize with you. So, in solidarity, read the conversations below (for anything in Tamil, the translations are in brackets):

1. ‘Ei Machan, avala paru da, inga ayiram veru nikkarom la, ava poyi oru line arambikkara, timuru jaasthi indha ponnuku’
(‘Hey brother-in-law, look at her, thousands of us are standing here and she is starting a new line, thinks too high of herself’)
‘Ama Machan, enna indha ponnu..andha naya paru, onnume sollama vali katran..ohh, kootame varudha’
(‘O yes brother-in-law, what's with this girl and look at that dog, he is showing her the way..Ohh and now there is a crowd’)
…
‘S, don’t you think they are talking about you’
‘I know man..horrible these people are..they are allowing their friends into the queue and expect us to stand in the end and never EVER get done with this job of keeping the systems in place..just ignore them’
…
‘Sariyana chom¹’
(‘Rightly a chom’)
‘yey loosu..iva chillad da, ellam puridhu avalaku, manatha vangadha ni..vaya moodu ippo’
(‘Yey crackpot..she is a chillad² and is understanding everything, you are making me lose my respect..shut your mouth now’)
…
Time to enter the SAC (Students Activities Center). A bursts out laughing. It gets a little embarrassing for S; she hears some more laughter from the crowd behind her.

2. ‘I m already late for the class and there is no air in one of the tyres. Wind seems to be acting against me..Murphy’s law, lady (I tell myself) – when things can go wrong, they do go wrong.’
I see a girl riding another bicycle quite fast and catching up with me.
‘Hello S!’
‘Hii, I m Sorry but can’t recollect your name.’
‘You might not have noticed me in the class. My name is SM.’
‘Ohh I see. Are you coming for the bizcom³ class then?’
‘Yes..You know what, Are you a Punjabi?’
‘There is no air in one of my tyres. AAn…No, I'm not.’
‘Then you must be a Sindhi.
‘We are getting late for the class. AAn…No no.
‘Ohh but you look like a Rajput.’
‘I have trouble keeping up with you. NOooo..Why do you think so?’
‘I get it now..you must be a baniya.’
‘C’mon now – just stop guessing. I'm not telling you.’

3. One of the many first day interactions:
‘Where are you from?’
‘Well, my parents live in Tamil Nadu and I have been brought up there.’
‘My guesses are always right..Hello mami⁴, eppdi irukka?’
‘I think someone is calling me. See you around.’

I have listened to enough of this crap – Now, stop fooling around with me for ALL's sake. And, Happy Fool's Day! :-)

Listen to this Video (..if you have 45 more seconds to spare)

¹Chom – A ‘chappati eating monster’. The north Indians in BITS Pilani are addressed with this strange (I find it creative) name.
²Chillad – Chom+Illad. You now know what a Chom is and an Illad is someone from south India, who says a lot of ‘illa’ (NO).
³Bizcom – Business Communication.
⁴Mami – Tamil Brahmin women are addressed as such.